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I got M.E.

Every time I catch up with a friend, I hear "You're out here living your best life!" I always say thank you, because who wouldn't want to hear that as a compliment, but it's so far from true. I'm living well, but my best life is still a few levels higher that I have not yet reached. I feel like there is so much more in life that I could be doing, and my self-doubt stops me from making a lot of those choices... shoutout to being an over-thinker. I overthink everything and wonder about how people will see me if I do something wrong or don't meet certain expectations.

I definitely have an "IDGAF" vibe, but deep down, I care... a little. If you follow me on Twitter, then you definitely know that I do not care at all; but that's another story for another time. Sure, I keep myself occupied with traveling, brunches, or creating random ''moves'' with my friends, but that's just what you see me posting about on the internet. I don't live in a fantasy world, I just don't post about the troubles or hard times in my life. They definitely exist, and I find other ways to deal with them. As a part of staying focused and finding ways to deal with life, I gave up liquor and traveling for the month of September. It was a challenge for sure, but I made it through. I saved a shit ton of money and still had a great time with my friends; but I still was far away from living my best life. What else could I sacrifice, or start doing to care for myself and feel better overall?

Leave it up to me, I would have the perfect one bedroom apartment in Harlem, a few sources of income, completed my second degree, and a dog owner, preferably a Schnauzer named Mase. Don't let me forget the Sky Miles, because I need to keep a high balance of those for weekend trips. All of this shit is definitely achievable, I just get too distracted from other things, and lose sight of the bigger picture. Writing my thoughts out in my journal helps me keep a steady thought process, but I do not always react on my thoughts as soon as I should.

Talking to my close circle of friends, everyone has goals and dreams that they want to achieve. I notice a common problem, we all think that we have extra time to waste, and tend to say that we are going to do this or that; but that never changes, and three months later, you're still saying the same thing. One of my favorite motivational sayings: The fall is the best time for a come up. Be your own come up, and stop relying on other people or circumstances to make a change, start now, even if the first step is a micro-step. Getting started is the hardest part; even if you don't finish, you can say that you started!

I know the challenges I face and the changes I need to make; I know myself. I got me. Do you know yourself?



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